Be Careful What You Bet For
by warrior of the nile
Summary: Tony despairs for humanity, he really does. Especially when he's sitting with its 'bright, young future' in the school cafeteria. He despised high school. Then, just when he thinks they cannot possibly top their stupidity, they dare Tony to fake date Loki, the school outcast. Well then. Tony agrees, but not for the reason they think he does. [They are idiots. Loki agrees.]


This is a prompt fill from frost-iron over on tumblr:

Highschool AU where Jock!Tony and Outcast!Loki are secretly best friends. Tony's dared by the other popular kids to date Loki for a bet. He promptly tells Loki about their assholery and they decide to take on the bet but only so that they can set it up, trick and otherwise humiliate the assholes who tried to do that to Loki. Of course, they also manage to fall in love with each other while they're doing the 'fake dating'.

* * *

It all started with Hammer. Of course it started with Hammer. Justin is one of those grade A assholes everyone always gets warned about dealing with. Unfortunately for Tony, he was also part of his social circle. High school is a pain that way.

"Hey Stark," Hammer snickers.

Tony rolls his eyes. Oh joy. Here we go again. "What?" he asks, already dreading it. He would ignore him if he thought it would help. But he knows it won't. He's learned from experience.

"I bet you can't get a date with the Freak over there," he points.

Everyone at their table turns and sees that Hammer is talking about Loki. Tony rolls his eyes again. Subtle. If he didn't know they were talking about him before, he does now. Fuck Howard for not letting him skip this 'essential for his social growth' experience. Like the old man gives a rat's ass.

He also finds it interesting that Hammer is bringing this up when Thor isn't around. The two brothers may not get along very well, but everyone knows that if you mess with one, you mess with the other. "Why would I want to do that?" he asks.

"What's the matter? Are you scared?"

Tony resists the urge to beat his head against the table. He can't afford to lose the brain cells. He is afraid his genius is already affected just by sitting here. "No, but unlike you, I have better things to do with my time. And, also unlike you, I have no need to act on a dare to get a date."

"Burn," Barton snickers, "But come on Stark. You have to admit that this could be fun. Dating the loser of the school, making him think someone finally likes him? It'll be hilarious."

Clearly Barton is not over the last prank Loki played on him. Can't say he blames him though, Barton totally deserved it. "Fun. Right. Until Thor finds out and kills me. And you guys," he adds, "because I will absolutely bring you down with me."

"Don't worry about Thor," Sitwell says.

"Yeah. We can take care of him," Pierce adds.

"Piece of cake," Rumlow assures.

It's not reassuring. Not in the least. But he can see the others are never going to let it go so with a sigh he asks, "What do I get out of this when I do?" he asks.

"English homework done for the rest of the semester," Wilson offers.

No English. Well _that_ is tempting. He truly despises English with all of his being. Even History is better. And Wilson is one of the best people to do it for him. He has a way with words and an ability to mimic.

"Fine," he sighs.

They all pat him on the back as if he is a dog who has done a neat trick and laughs. God he hates high school. Almost as much as he hates Howard.

"Right then," he gets up and goes to join Loki at the table he is sitting at. "Hey sugar plum," he smirks.

"Stark," Loki says lowly.

"Wanna hear something hilarious?"

"I'm sure you're about to tell me," he glares.

"Well yeah, but you're going to love it. I promise," he winks, admittedly having a little too much fun with this. He can't disappoint his audience after all.

Loki sighs. "Please then, do not keep me in suspense any longer."

Tony grins widely. "They just bet me a semester's worth of English that I could date you."

Loki blinks at him, "You're joking," he deadpans.

"Nope," he says, popping his 'p'. "They totally did. It was Hammer's idea, which makes it even more hilarious."

Loki's lips twitch into a smirk. "Indeed," he agrees. He doesn't like Hammer anymore than Tony does. Technically speaking, no one actually likes him except the stupidest of their population. Which, incidentally, seems to be the majority of them. Idiots.

"So?" Tony asks.

"So what? I do not believed you asked a question."

"Asshole. Do you want to do this?" he grins.

Loki hums, pretending to think about it. "I'm not sure," he says, but Tony knows that's just for show. Can't have their audience suspicious after all.

He leans forward. "Think of all the fun we can have. All the chaos we can create together. Those assholes will never see us coming."

"That does sound promising," he murmurs, "What of Thor?"

Tony turns his head so they can't see his expression. "I have been _assured_ that he won't be a problem."

Loki snorts, echoing his thoughts. "We shall have to think up a plan of our own then."

Tony shrugs. "We could, or" he leans into Loki's ear so that he can whisper, "we can let your Mom take care of him."

Loki gets a devious grin. "I do love the way your mind works." He tilts his head so that their faces are inches apart.

"You're just a little shit, you know that."

"It takes one to know one," he murmurs.

"Yes?" Tony asks.

"Yes," Loki answers as they kiss.

It's just a quick touch of the lips, but it's enough for now. Tony throws an arm around him. "Don't worry Lokes, I'll be the best boyfriend ever."

Loki rolls his eyes. "Why do I have a feeling I am going to regret this?"

"You won't," Tony reassures, "Just think of the look on everyone's faces when they find out."

That makes Loki smirk. "Brilliant mind indeed."

Tony looks over at his usual table and sees the guys all laughing. He waves at them. Idiots.

:::

Turns out Tony might actually have to thank Hammer for this. Or get him a fruit basket. That works too right? He hasn't had this much fun in school in... well, ever. Anyone who tells you that high school years are your olden years is lying. Or just really pathetic.

But no, really. It's lots of fun. And they haven't even had to prank any one yet – not that they aren't, but they want to lull them into a false sense of security before they act. All they have done so far is act obnoxiously into each other. You know, like the couple that never seem to leave the honeymoon phase and makes everyone around them sick? Yeah, like that. It's hilarious to see how green their faces can get.

What, did they really expect Tony not to play this up? Do they not know Tony at all? To be fair, no they don't. Tony has a very particular mask he wears at school and he never sheds it until he is off the property. So technically they have no idea. He wants to keep it that way too. His 'friends' are all a bunch of assholes to be honest.

He doesn't want to hang out with them because he wants to. He hangs out with them because somehow he got labeled a jock of all things. A jock! He was expecting nerd to be honest. Everyone knows that he's a genius. But apparently his name and mask is good enough to label him popular instead. He knows how to play the crowd, to be the center of attention. Most people would assume that is a core part of his personality. And it is, in some ways. Doesn't mean he always likes it. It's better than being bullied though, so he guesses it works.

He's only in cross country and track because Howard is making him play a sport. And those two are the least likely sports he can get hurt in. All he is doing is running. Sure, it's still possible, but significantly less likely than oh say football. The mere idea makes him shudder.

Worst part of it is, he hates running. It's hot and sweaty and he can't listen to music for the actual races. What the hell? And there is nothing more boring – and tedious – than a track meet. It does give him time to work on the designs in his head though, so at least that is something. And it keeps his Mom and Jarvis from bothering him too much about getting out of the lab when he's at home.

Point of all of this is though, he hates high school. It's boring and long and stupid. Did he mention boring? He's ecstatic that this is his final year and he can finally get the hell out of here. This is a bright spot he wasn't expecting.

Normally when he and Loki hang out, they always have to go to the abandoned spots around town. Or the places where no one will recognize them, which can be a challenge. Now they can do it openly. Hell, it's expected of them. They can go anywhere they want and no one will think anything of it. It's freeing, in a way.

Not that either of them truly care what people think of them. They only hid it before because they agreed it made their lives easier. There is enough shit in their lives without adding idiots butting in and giving their unasked opinions. That issue is gone now.

It's all over the school within a day that Tony is now dating one of the least popular boys in school. Of course it is. The rumor mill of teenagers is a fast and efficient thing. If you could harness the energy of it, you could power the world twice over. Never underestimate the determination of teenagers to spread the word of anything remotely interesting happening. And this is certainly interesting news.

There are all kinds of rumors about it too. Why would Tony possibly do this? Well let's see. They have been secretly in love for years and now that it is their senior year, they are saying screw it. Loki is using Tony to enhance his social status. Tony is using Loki for sex. Tony is dating Loki on a bet – _thanks_ guys. One or both of them have been replaced by aliens and are planning world domination. Your average sort of thing.

Both Tony and Loki are getting a kick out of it. Three guesses on which rumor is their favorite too.

Tony is sort of loving the whole fake dating thing though. Not just because of all the idiots they can mess with, but because of the actual dating part of it.

He is a tactile person to begin with. He always has been. The problem is that he trusts so few people to act that way with. Of course he was that way before with Loki, but he's getting even more of it now. They hold hands and hug and generally hang all over each other. Mostly for show, but also because Loki has accused Tony of being part octopus.

Being touched starved is a pain in the ass some days.

And the kissing is _definitely_ good. Who doesn't like kissing? Especially two hormonal boys. It's a win win there. Not that he hasn't kissed other people before. He is far from a virgin. But it's different with Loki. They know each other and it shows when they start making out. It crosses over in a way Tony has never felt before. Mostly because he has never been friends with anyone he had made out with before.

Going on dates isn't all that different than them hanging out normally either. He wonders if they have actually been dating before or if the line between the two is just that thin. What really makes the difference between dating and friends hanging out after all? Emotions, that's what. Emotions are essentially the only difference. So should it really be that much of a surprise?

And Tony is fairly sure Loki feels the same about it. He thinks so anyways. He's pretty sure. Loki can be damn hard to read when he wants to be. And he _always_ wants to be. He's not the type of person to open up easily and show his emotions.

Not that Tony is much better. He has learned at an early age to hide what you feel. Put on a mask and never show the world your true self. Even with people he's comfortable with, it can be hard to remove it. It's ingrained into him by now.

Still he likes to think he can get a good read on Loki. It's slightly easier with people he likes.

"So Lokes," he starts casually one day as they lounge around at the park, "I'm doing a good job being your boyfriend right?"

Loki snorts. "Would you like an award?" he asks sarcastically.

"Would you actually give me one?" Tony props himself on his elbows to look at him.

Loki looks back, still laying down. "Shall I inflate your ego more?" he raises an eyebrow at him.

"It's not arrogance if it's deserved," Tony defends, "But no, really, would you? I know I'm awesome, that's not the question, but like," he shrugs, "it's good yeah?" Real elegant there. But he's too nervous to come right out and ask. This way he can play it off if the answer is 'no'.

Loki stares at him for a long moment before he rolls his eyes. "I suppose you are not the worst possible choice," he concedes.

Tony grins. "Yeah?"

"Yes," Loki sighs, "Honestly Stark, why anyone believes you are cool is beyond me."

"I am the definition of cool thank you very much. And they're all idiots anyways."

Loki smirks. "That they are," he agrees, "And so are you."

"Hey!" Tony protests.

But then Loki pulls him down and shuts him up with a kiss. Tony is fine with that. More than fine. His boyfriend is an excellent kisser after all.

:::

"More pasta dear?" Frigga asks Tony as they are sitting around the table eating supper. Tony is lucky enough to be eating at Loki's tonight. It is spring break and Howard is off doing... something. His Mother is busy and Jarvis is taking Anna out. So Tony is here.

Their spring break has even matched up with Thor's, so he is here too. To make things even better, Odin is too busy to join them tonight. Tony does not like Odin. He reminds Tony too much of Howard. And that's not a compliment either. It always feels as if he is looking inside Tony's head and judging him. But if he never gives his old man the satisfaction of backing down, he sure won't with Loki's.

"Stark," Thor says casually, "I've been hearing some interesting rumors about your and Loki's relationship." There is a certain glint in his eyes that can only come from a certain appreciation of mischief. He _is_ Loki's brother after all. The two might have problems, but they have picked up certain habits from each other over the years.

Not that he's stupid enough to point that out. He likes living, thank you very much.

"Is it the rumor about the aliens?" he asks, "Because personally that ones my favorite. Like we need to be replaced by aliens to take over the world."

"I would dread to see the state of it after a week of _you_ ," Loki says.

"Oh like half of it wouldn't be on fire from you."

"How else am I supposed to weed out stupidity? But if my half is already on fire then your half cannot be. We need _some_ subjects to rule," he points out reasonably.

"True. How about dogs. Dogs would make great subjects. Humans are on a dead end track of evolution anyways. All we'd be doing is speeding up the process. And this way, no paperwork!"

"What about cats?" Loki asks.

"You really expect a cat to listen to you? I know they're actually your soul animal, but if we try to rule cats, they are going be taking over, not us." Tony raises an eyebrow.

"Well they might overthrow you. Me they love," Loki shrugs unapologetically.

Tony grumbles at that. He can't argue though. He's never seen a cat that doesn't instantly love Loki. It's like he's covered in catnip or something. Or they see a familiar soul. "What about pandas?"

"And you said humans are on a dead end track. Pandas are on an even faster one," Loki complains.

"True, but pandas are a lot cuter than humans."

"Hum, you have a point," Loki agrees.

"I am not sure whether to be horrified or worried," Thor tells them.

"Oh both brother," Loki says.

"Don't worry, I plan on leaving all the boring stuff to Loki," Tony reassures.

"Which means all the things that are crucial for our Empire to prosper," Loki says dryly.

"I can build anything we need. I just don't want to do paperwork. I hate English for a reason, remember?"

"Yes I had heard that," Thor says cheerfully, "In much detail."

Tony rolls his eyes at him. "May I have another roll please?" he asks Frigga sweetly.

"Of course you may dear. Here you are," she passes him the bowl.

"Honestly Stark," Thor shakes his head, "I would ask why you agreed to it in the first place, but this is exactly your type of humor – _both_ of you," he adds.

Tony shrugs. "Idiots thought it would be funny. Personally I think it's funny as hell, but for completely different reasons."

"It is rather amusing to see how green their faces can turn," Loki says gleefully.

"Incidentally who told you?" Tony asks.

"Pierce, Rumlow and Sitwell talked to me," he answers.

Tony and Loki exchange a look. Oh it is on now. Just because they don't think it's funny anymore doesn't mean they can double cross Tony and get away with it. Even if it was an extremely poor attempt.

"So _what_ have you been up to dear?" Frigga asks, "I had been wondering why you were having such a quiet year. I know better than to think you have nothing going on."

Tony smirks gleefully. "Some idiots were stupid enough to dare me to date my best friend. Not that they _know_ Loki is my best friend, but that is beside the point. Of course we're going to take it and roll with it."

Frigga sighs, but she is also smiling. "Whatever you have planned at the end of this isn't going to keep you from getting your diplomas is it?"

"Hell no," Tony says, horrified at the thought, "I want _out_ of the death trap. It's killing my soul."

"Surely it cannot be that bad," Frigga protests mildly.

"Yes it is," Tony argues, "Some days I can _feel_ my brain melting from being that close to all of the stupidity."

Now Frigga just laughs.

"I have found that college is much more freeing," Thor agrees.

"Freeing for _what_ exactly brother dear?" Loki asks sweetly.

"Life brat," he answers.

"My, but aren't we wise and enlightened now after so many long and laborious months."

"Boys," Frigga warns, "be nice."

Tony snickers to himself. He loves both of them – one more than the other, obviously – but he is _so_ glad he is an only child.

Thor leans forward, "Now are you two going to tell me your plan or am I going to have to pull it out of you."

"What makes you think you can succeed?" Loki asks.

But Tony considers it and grins. "Come now Lokes, Big Brother wants to join in the fun too. Who are we to deny him? Especially after we have to sit through the long ass ceremony to begin with?"

Frigga stands up from the table. "I am going to clean up the kitchen now," she announces, "No explosions and no fire," she says pointedly. Because those are their two favorite things. Tony loves explosions, they're the best. And Loki is a bit of a pyro.

"Yes Ma'am," Tony salutes.

She smiles. "Have fun boys and remember, I didn't hear a thing."

Tony loves Frigga. Frigga is awesome.


End file.
